Things I Learned From: This Island Earth

  • Never wear your brain on the outside.
Never wear your brain on the outside
  • Aliens know how to flat-pack their mail-order deliveries.
  • Also, you’ll never be invoiced for an interociter.
  • It is easier to construct an interociter than it is to build any number of Ikea self-assembly torture devices/furnishings.
  • If you can land a helicopter on your prospective employer’s forehead, don’t take the job.
  • Vermont girls are easy.¹
  • Our true size is the size of our god! Apparently.
  • All laboratories should contain cats. This is important.
  • Dining scientists must listen to Mozart.
  • Most scientists have their own private one-man jet aircraft. This is probably why you never see Brian Cox on the bus.²
Take the job, please, Brian, I beg you!
  • Aliens may have instant interplanetary communications technology, but they still can’t get Sky Movies without subscription.
  • Planetary bombardment is a Very Bad Thing.
  • Mutant insects are capable of wearing trousers, and are quite aware that Vermont girls are easy.
  • All Metalunan technology plugs into the wall and has 13-amp fuses. Which is useful.
  • Heroes should all have names like Rex Reason.
  • Hiding your UFO behind an acre of canvas sheeting at the side of the road will fool pretty much anybody.

¹Possibly untrue. I’ve never been to Vermont.
²In fact, I think Brian Cox would be fantastic in the lead role for a remake. “‘We are the cosmos made conscious and life is the means by which the universe understands itself! You want to do what with synthesised uranium, Exeter?”

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stevenpoore

Epic Fantasist & SFSF Socialist.

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