- Never wear your brain on the outside.
- Aliens know how to flat-pack their mail-order deliveries.
- Also, you’ll never be invoiced for an interociter.
- It is easier to construct an interociter than it is to build any number of Ikea self-assembly torture devices/furnishings.
- If you can land a helicopter on your prospective employer’s forehead, don’t take the job.
- Vermont girls are easy.¹
- Our true size is the size of our god! Apparently.
- All laboratories should contain cats. This is important.
- Dining scientists must listen to Mozart.
- Most scientists have their own private one-man jet aircraft. This is probably why you never see Brian Cox on the bus.²
- Aliens may have instant interplanetary communications technology, but they still can’t get Sky Movies without subscription.
- Planetary bombardment is a Very Bad Thing.
- Mutant insects are capable of wearing trousers, and are quite aware that Vermont girls are easy.
- All Metalunan technology plugs into the wall and has 13-amp fuses. Which is useful.
- Heroes should all have names like Rex Reason.
- Hiding your UFO behind an acre of canvas sheeting at the side of the road will fool pretty much anybody.
¹Possibly untrue. I’ve never been to Vermont.
²In fact, I think Brian Cox would be fantastic in the lead role for a remake. “‘We are the cosmos made conscious and life is the means by which the universe understands itself! You want to do what with synthesised uranium, Exeter?”