Trolls Love Company

I haven’t mentioned The Write Agenda in a while. Mostly because “don’t feed the trolls,” though also partly because when somebody ineffably stupid sticks their head down a toilet and flushes, it’s quite satisfying just to watch.

But the smurfs are still intent on digging their way to the very bottom – and now they have help. I say “help,” I mean Tom Dark, a vile, loathsome and very troubled man who seems to think he’s actually a “secret” literary agent.

Uh, whut? A secret literary agent? Well, apparently Tom Dark (resident at Heacock Hill Literary Agency, though not a member of AAR) has clients, but nobody’s allowed to know who they are or what deals he’s managed to strike. Hmm. Sounds dodgy, don’t you think? Surely any decent literary agent worth their salt would be shouting their successes from the rooftops – after all, doesn’t success breed success? Look at Juliet Mushens, John Jarrold, Zeno, Conville & Walsh, Donald Maass – and now look at Tom Dark again. No named clients. No signings. No deals. Looks like the last successful negotiation he did was for the home delivery of his groceries.

Oh, look. Smurfs.

I should pity him for the fact that he has fallen for The Write Agenda’s slimy lies hook line & sinker, but the stupid bastard has gone beyond redemption by his part in the indefensible “celebrations” of the sad & untimely death of respected author & stalwart defender of authors’ rights Ann Crispin (see pic to right). No surprise that The Wrong Agenda is shucking off its lightly-held “Christian” morality to caper like a grotesque loon, since Ann was a leading light of Writer Beware, but Tom Dark has somehow conflated WB and AbsoluteWrite’s equally excellent Bewares subforum (not difficult if you’re a man of his below-par intellect) – AW has a decent thread on there about how Tom’s “agency” is not the best place to submit manuscripts if you expect a professional literary agent to actually sell your work in the marketplace.

So what Tom does these days, apart from make up client lists, spout tripe, and do unspeakable things to horses, is vent about how Ann, Victoria Strauss, and AbsoluteWrite & Writer Beware, are all slandering & libelling and tellin’ lyin’ lies like lyin’ liars about him.

Diddums. Y’see Tom, there’s no proof of that. But there is plenty of proof that you are a foul-mouthed, completely unprofessional fake. I don’t have the patience to list that proof here, but interested readers can follow the links to Jim Worrad’s equally erudite site. Just don’t visit Tom’s own blog – he admits that he measures his success through blog hits (which is weird – surely a professional literary agent would measure his own success through selling projects to publishers, eh?). Instead, view the Google cache of the two-year-old blog post he keeps spamming people with. It’s rather telling: a bilious pile-up of paranoid hatred and undirected, inaccurate lies. It makes Fear & Loathing look like a strait-laced Victorian patriarch by comparison. If this is the sort of person you think you’d want to have representing your work as a writer, go ahead – just make sure you’ve had your full frontal lobotomy first. Nothing like fresh evidence, eh? I suppose when you haven’t actually got any evidence of wrongdoing, it’s always best to make it up….

Just as worrying as Tom’s own behaviour is the fact that his co-agent, Catt LeBaigue, who unlike Tom is listed as a member of the AAR, has been silent through all of this. Given Tom’s abusive nature, that might be a problem. It is possible that Ms LeBaigue is merely being effortlessly professional in her silence – however, in my opinion it would be far more professional for her to take a mallet to Tom’s computer and kick the useless cock out on his ear before he ruins her reputation completely.

So: how to summarise? If you are ever approached by Tom Dark online, point and laugh loudly.

Ann “A.C.” Crispin: with thanks.

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Epic Fantasist & SFSF Socialist.

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